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A Perfect Child In A Severely Imperfect World...What Have I Done??

Monday, January 2, 2017


The other day Landon was lying sound asleep in his crib. He had been overcome with exhaustion and cried himself to the brink of sleep when I was finally able to calm him. I sat there exhausted and in pain from watching him so hopeless and upset. In that moment things were still and it felt as though time was halted. I had a conscious vision of Landon's life and the many inevitable times he could and would experience pain. I thought of the first fall from his bike, scraping his knee, the first time he would be called a name at school, and even the first strike out in his little league game. My mind wandered to junior high, high school, and his first broken heart.  Then I thought even deeper and farther ahead.  The chance of mental, emotional, physical illness, or the stark reality of losing a dear loved one. 
I thought to myself, how could I bring such a precious and perfect being into such a severely imperfect world with such hate, violence, and pain? What have I done? 
As I thought and pondered deeper, I remembered earlier that day, the elation on his face as he spent 30 minutes wide-eyed and giggling for mom and dad. This began steering me from all the pain to all the JOYFUL moments. Moments like the day he no longer needs his training wheels, his first kiss, and finding his first true love. The thought of his own family and holding his first born child in his arms for the first time. Growing old with the love of his life and looking back on all the happiness this life had brought him. And most of all, the thought of the many lives that he will have the opportunity to bless. 
In that moment, I realized that he would experience JOY, even more joy than pain. Our awful and painful day to day experiences are too often the main focus of our lives and seem to overshadow the joy and the potential for happiness in this world.
As Landon lay fast asleep in his crib, I imagined his dreams and the happiness they were bringing him and for that moment he and I both forgot about the pain and I stepped out of the room to simply let him experience joy.
by mlekoshi